Serenity

I've been having thoughts about nighttimes. So many people tell me that their little ones sleep through the night, already, at four or five months. So many people tell me to feed him formula last thing at night, so I get a full night's sleep. I don't want to. I struggled for over a month, expressing eight times a day, just to get my milk supply up so I could feed my boy the stuff he needs most, and I'm not going to stop now, just so that I can sleep through the night. I've never slept through the night anyway, not even before my boy came into being, so why should I start now?

I just read this post about night feeds, shared with me by a friend. The thing that strikes me too is the serenity of our nighttime moments. Of course, they're not always serene, I'd be a liar if I said they were, but they are precious and they are meditation.

Read the post, if you wish, here.

I get what she says, this mama across the other side of the world. I love the moments at night when my boy is snuggled up, filling his little belly. I love knowing that he's having the food he needs, when he needs it. Even last night, when he screamed for ages because of his horrid cold, I rocked him and soothed him and held him, and it was good. I was in the present moment with my little boy, all other anxieties or frustrations of life gone from my mind. I also found serenity.